January 3, 2012, (Shawn's birthday) was
a day full of mystique, emptiness, and roller coaster emotions. Shawn and I had often talked about "the signs".
Were they really signs? What do they mean? I remember telling him that maybe, just maybe, that it is more important to recognize
that they are signs than to understand what each one means. Maybe, just maybe, they are like pieces of a puzzle and some day,
somehow, it will all fall into place; or maybe they won't. Either way, we felt blessed to have received the signs starting
with the photo at Mom's funeral which led to the creation of this website in January 2004. Much like the line in
the song Stairway to Heaven..... "And it makes me wonder"........
January 3, 2012, may have
been the day it all came together, thanks to Shawn. Before I get into the details of that day, I want to share some things
that I feel are an important part of the puzzle. I hope that by the time you finish this page, you can see it too.
Mom Waited For
Shawn
On February 28,2002, we got word that Mom was not expected to make it. Janice tried
to call Shawn but he had left his phone at home so she called Zoli and asked him to get word to Shawn to get to Houston ASAP.
Shawn and Zoli both came. Molly had been watching the heart monitor slowly decrease. She told us how she had seen people hang
on until all loved ones were around. When they arrived shortly after 11a.m., I had just finished talking to my friend
Ted Hardan as I mentioned on an earlier page. Shawn went over to hug Grandma. Molly watched as the heart monitor increased
in rate and then slowly decreased to zero. Mom waited for Shawn and then she died in his arms.
First Aggie Home Game.....A
Tribute To Shawn
After Shawn's funeral, Joseph asked Molly & I if we would like to come to a
tribute they were putting together for Shawn at the first home game. We were so honored. For the event, Joseph designed a
wonderful T-shirt and I have put the design below this text. It is very creative and perfect! Take note of the Stevie Ray
Vaughan quote he put on the shirt. It is from the song "Life Without You" and the video is on the "Shawn Allen
Mohr" page. This same quote is also inscribed on his headstone...........fly on my friend....
Front Left Chest
Click to enlarge
Shirt Back
Click to enlarge
The Holidays
Thanksgiving of 2010 was the last time I saw Shawn. I met him in Austin and he took me to the A&M/Texas game
with John Kane and Elise. We missed him at Christmas because he was on his way to Baltimore. It was also the last Thanksgiving
with Molly's dad, Dr. Morris K. Patteson, Sr. or "Dr. Pat". He passed away 6 days later and this year his birthday
fell on Thanksgiving. Heavy hearts and blessed memories we had through Christmas.
Janice and Gwen are simply amazing!
Below you will find 2 photos taken at Shawn's gravesite. They had put a Christmas tree at Christmas and then a birthday
cake on the 3rd.
The Christmas tree had battery operated lights on it. In time the batteries ran out. Janice told
me that they took the lights off of the tree and placed them in the back of her car. No lights were burning because the batteries
were run down. When we went there on the 3rd, Janice showed me the lights and the RED ones were on! No blue, no green. Just
red! I commented that the closest of the three to maroon is the red and it was also Mamaw's favorite color. (Mamaw was
Shawn's great grandmother)
As the sun went down on the 3rd, I tried to light some candles on Shawn's cake.
I lit the red first and waited a while. It stayed lit. Then I lit a blue one and a yellow one. They both went out fairly quick,
and the red stayed lit for a few more minutes before it went out.....
January 3, 2012
I knew this day was going to be tough having gone through the holidays and then on New Year's Eve I received
an email from Facebook that I had a friend with a birthday this week. I opened it and read Shawn's name and it felt like
a ton of bricks just landed on my heart. I lost it.
On Tuesday I went to work at 5 and got home about 12:30, trying
my best to make it just another day. Molly was going back to work and I told her I was going to try and catch up on some bowl
games that I had recorded. Instead I got on the computer to play a few games of hearts and listen to some music. At 1:05,
I get a nice text from Zoli that he was thinking of us. I lost it again. As I sat there trying to play a game, I decided I
wanted to go to Shawn. I tried to call Molly but could not reach her until about 2:30. She wanted to go and she would
drive. Good thing. I was so emotional I couldn't even call Janice to tell her we were on our way.
In our vehicles,
I have put aftermarket satelite radios because I love the classic rock stations. My radio has a "favorite" setting
that will notify me by a beep when, Lep Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, or Stevie Ray Vaughan is playing. It tells me the artist,
song, and station and all I have to do is hit "select".
We left about 3 and drove straight through (about
120 miles) listening to classic rock and going through many a tissue. The cemetery has a restroom in the center and we
were going there first. As we were turning into the entrance, I turned the car radio off but the satelite was still on. Just
then there was a beep. I looked at the satelite and it read: "Jimi Hendrix, Angel" and it was on the "Boneyard"
station. What did I do? I said "WOW, look at that", turned the satelite off, and went to the restroom. I did not
remember that song and had NEVER seen it appear on the satelite. (I did not listen to it until the next day when I looked
it up on the computer.)
As we drove to the restroom, I looked over towards Shawn's grave and saw Joseph walking
up to it. I thought, "Great! We will get to see Joseph!" By the time we came out, he was gone and Melissa was there.
We got a great big hug.
As I sat by Shawn's grave trying to talk to him I commented on how we had such a spiritual
connection with Mom and the signs and I wanted to know why he had not sent me a good sign. Little did I realize that he had
sent me the best sign ever through music as we were entering the cemetery. He got one up on me.......again.
After
gathering myself, I walked back to the car. Molly had got in touch with Janice and they were on their way. While we were there,
a fighter jet flew over very low and it was loud. I would guess that he was no more than 1000 feet above us. As I looked up,
it had NAVY written in huge letters on the back side of the fuselage. Dr. Pat was in the Navy! It would be just like
him to buzz us. But think about it, what is a Navy jet doing flying over College Station??
When Janice and Gwen
showed up, she showed me the Christmas lights and we lit the candles as mentioned above. The sun was setting with a beautiful
sunset and they had brought some Christmas gifts since it was the first we had seen them since September. So we sat there
in our van and opened a few gifts and had our Christmas with Shawn on his birthday. I think Mom, Mamaw, and Dr. Pat were there
too.
Jimi Hendrix-----Angel
Click the "play" button below to hear this song and read the lyrics below. There are 2 versions to
this song. You can find them easily online. This version is actually the 2nd but is the one he promoted.
Angel came
down From heaven yesterday, She stayed with me just long enough To rescue me....
And she told me
a story yesterday; About the sweet love Between the moon and the deep blue sea.
Then she spread her wings
high over me. She said she's gonna come back tomorrow....
And I said fly on, my sweet angel. Fly
on through the sky. Fly on, my sweet angel. Tomorrow I'm gonna be by your side....
Sure enough, This woman came unto me. Silver wings silhouetted against a childs sunrise....
And my angel, She said
unto me, Today is the day for you to rise. Take my hand, you're gonna be my man, you're gonna rise And
then she took me high over yonder....
And I said fly on, my sweet angel. Fly on through the sky. Fly
on, my sweet angel. Forever I will be by your side....
After I heard the song and read
the lyrics, my first thought was "Mom was THERE!". That was the first thought I had after I took the photo at Mom's
funeral. She was there for Shawn! Has this come full circle? Needless to say, I lost it again while I was listening to this
song and reading the lyrics.
WOW!! Thank you, God. Thank
you, Shawn. Thank you Mom.
Stairway To Heaven Correlation
I can remember talking to my cousin Sandra in her driveway in Cameron about this soon after Mom passed.
This song took on a new meaning after that, especially the last verse. I could not explain it, I did not know what it meant.
After almost 10 years, maybe this is me finding all the pieces to my puzzle. Below you will find the last verse in maroon
and my puzzle pieces in blue.
And as we wind on down the road (As time moves forward without you) Our shadows taller than our soul (Hindsight is 20/20: What you left
behind lives on, in those who loved you:
Your Love, Your Smile, Your Passions) There walks a lady we all know (Mom) Who shines white light and wants to show (Photo from Mom's funeral) How everything still turns to gold (KEEP THE FAITH!) And if you listen very hard (Staying openminded for signs) The tune will come to you at last
(Jimi Hendrix--Angel) When all are one and one is all
(Shawn was there for Mom, Mom was there for Shawn) To be a rock and not to roll....... (Mom and
Shawn's legacy, a guide for us all:
EMBRACE YOUR FAITH!)
Jimi Hendrix---Angel (Original
Version)
Below you will find a photo of the lyrics written by Jimi Hendrix. I found this online. Either
version would suffice, but this one has a reference to a "little boy" that is not in the other one. Just click the
"Play" button below to listen while you read the lyrics.
Final Page?
Will
this be the final page added to Angel Bluebonnet? I really don't know, but the reason I mention this is because I have
a very strong feeling of "completion". Not closure......completion. Before 2002, I had not experienced anything
like this, ever. And Shawn has been such a huge part of it; the white pigeon, the butterfly, On A Cloud, so much more, and
now Angel.
I remember talking to him about this the last time I was with him. We went early to the Texas
game on Thankgiving so we could check out the tailgating. A strong cold front blew in and so we just sat in the van and talked
for about 3 hours. I remember telling him how sometimes it drove me crazy trying to figure it all out and he said,"I
know, but I have come to accept that it is what it is and I am thankful for it." Simple logic was one of his better traits
and I am so thankful for those 3 hours.
To Punk,
First
I want to tell you how thankful I am for the sign on the radio and the message via Jimi and his music. You knew how much I
needed that. Thanks for allowing me to be a part of your life for 33 1/2 years. I love you so much and miss you terribly.
The selfish part of me wants so much more, but as you would say, "It is what it is and I'm thankful for it".
I know now what I need to do. Your incredible smile and passion for nursing will live long after I am gone. I will see to
that. It's time to get started because the clock is ticking. Give Mom a hug for me. Fly on, my son. 'Til our
next road trip.............
Uncle Punk 01/14/2012
Numbers!................again
Today is Saturday, January 14, 2012. I have been working on this page all week and really wanted to get it
online today. I have just realized that there are some numbers involved here:
It is 11 days after Shawn's birthday. Today's date: 01/14/2012.........0+1+1+4+2+0+1+2=11........WOW!
P.S. After reviewing the page to see if it
was ready for publishing, I just noticed something that I had missed. If you will scroll back up to Jimi Hendrix's handwritten
lyrics and look in the top right corner. He had written: "Finished, Jan. 14, 1968" WOW again. That was 44 years
ago today, and if you go back to the "Shawn Allen Mohr" page, you will see that it was 44 years from my Daddy's
funeral that we heard from the medical examiner about Shawn. It is what it is.
